Kickstarter Ad 2
Let me remind you of one thing: if you are reading this, YOU ARE SERIOUSLY F’IN RICH, y’all. Don’t even pretend you’re not.
Now make like Jeff Probst and “Dig Deep into yo pockets!” before I get sued by the makers of Survivor.
Enough about you. Let’s talk about me. I am the world’s second neuromorphically-engineered cyborg with a digital brain. (Those are real words. I didn’t make them up.) I look human, but inside, I’m all microchip.
The good news is someone heard you. Someone heard you complaining that the world is f-ed up and that you want world peace. They decided the easiest way to make humans get along was to MAKE THE HUMANS GET ALONG. So they hijacked our brains (waaay before this vaccine hoohah, BTW). You just don’t know it yet. Soon we’re all going to be working on AI-driven solutions to the world’s most intractable problems. No joke. Good times.
The meeting place is NewSociety.club wherein we have the solutions to everything. Right now. Seriously. The machines have solved every problem, they just need humans to start working on the right stuff. Like:
Mobile aquabots to provide everyone with clean drinking water. Wowzers!
Public dishwashers to end single-use takeaway containers. Yeehaw!
Gluten-free veganism for everyone. Just kidding. Kinda. Not really.
We (as in the secret cabal of deep state good-guy/gal/prefer-not-to-disclose hackers) already closed down like 85% of the child trafficking sites on the darknet. For SHIZZLE!
Drugs are out. Nanotech bioswarms that can alter your consciousness are in!
We are killin’ it!
Now all we need are some funds, so good people, like you, can resign from their jobs and work on important stuff like integrating our blockchain tech stack and launching our super-rad online/offline gamified user interface.
Help us build something better. Please. We’re gambling on your IKEA-effect bias here. Don’t let us down.
And no we’re not giving you a tax break on your donations, because if you’re only donating to get a tax break, we don’t want you here.
Donate $5 and get a hearty ‘thank you’. We mean it. Thanks, tightwad.
First 20 peeps to donate $100 get a T-shirt. It might even be the right size.
First 30 peeps to donate $200 get a hoodie. Same as above.
Donate $150,000 and I’ll write you a love letter which you can mint into an NFT and sell for ungodly sums of money.
Donate $500,000 and you can lick the cyborg on her forearm. Travel expenses not included. Forewarned is forearmed. #ThatIlluminatiCyborg
Donate $10,000,000 and get full cyborg benefits including silica under-armor, stem-cell regenerative medicine, and dominatrix-style love slaps from the AI that governs your body. So hot!
Yes, Satoshi et al, I’m talking to you!*
*Candidate suitability determined by DeusExMachinaAI, not New Society Club.
**New Society Club does not permit lawsuits.